My 'Gin Harpy' To-Do List
1. Repeat the mantra, "Drink isn't the cure but it'll do until they discover a better one".
2. Remember to apply make-up every day, concentrating mainly on eyeliner and hot red lipstick.
3. Purchase a black silk dressing gown with embroided details for sitting on my chaise longe and hurling tumblers at the maid.
4. Buy a chaise longe.
5. Get a maid (prefably illegal).
6. Buy a tiger. It's the only being that will ever understand me - wild, savage and yet stunning. When it dies, skin it and hang on wall.
7. Alienate everybody, especially respected members of the local community.
8. Have an affair with everybody, especially respected members of the local communtiy.
9. Wear Chanel.
10. Collaspe at dinner parties.
11. Perfect glare.
12. Grow fingernails to acceptable scratching length.
13. Buy shares in Bombay Sapphire.
12 comments:
Don't forget the high heeled sandals made of satin and maribou feathers to compliment the black silk dressing gown! THEY are, in fact, the only piece of the emsemble I already own.
The maid, though...that may take a moment consdering my current joblessness.
Oh well...one can dream.
Of course, you have to smoke - heavily. The cigarette must be dangling from your lips at all times, ash falling into the soup bowl, great hacking coughs...
About that illegal maid. I could put you in touch with someone who knows someone. You have to hold on to her passport though, otherwise she'd do a runner one night when you were passed out on the floor.
LMAO - shares in Bombay Sapphire, huh? THE gin of choice for Gin Harpies everywhere?
LOVE the new look, dahling! Faaaabulous!
Along with that cigarette, you'll need one of those extremely long holders, ebony of COURSE, dahling!
I would take up smoking but I have "limp lungs". I'll look into getting a holder for sheer effect.
Can't say I've had Bombay Sapphire! Must be missing out! I like a little drop of Malibu.
I've Mastered the art of number 11 for many years now. Many of my co-workers know they have done wrong when I give them a look!
I'll look into getting a holder for sheer effect.
I wouldn't want to advocate taking up smoking, anyway. I'd feel really bad! In the absence of an actual cigarette, tho, the holder will have the same effect. De riguer, dahling! And did anyone mention a long-assed string of pearls? I mean...the kind that hangs down to your navel, and no WAY can you double it to make it shorter....
Hell, it all sounds good to me...can I join you? Or perhaps you could come across the pond and play mom/wife while I take your place as gin harpy? I'm sure I can acquire a taste for Bombay Sapphire. ;)
~dkbb~ : I've been leaving you comments on your blog but it says they need approval - did you realise this?
Yeah i left some as well
Or perhaps you could come across the pond and play mom/wife while I take your place as gin harpy?
Hey, this sounds like a really good idea! Maybe we could all take turns as gin harpies, while brit visits our various homes and takes over our duties. It would be like a vacation, brit! No? C'mon!
Amen to that :)
I'm really good at ironing but I can't cook for shit.
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