Germans in Speedos - Why God Why?
More specifically German men in Speedos and even more specifically German men at my hotel in Speedos.
I can't for the life of me think why, as a rational human being, you'd ever feel the need to don a pair of Speedos. They do not look good, especially on fat, ugly men and unless those people were using the hotel pool for their Olympic training I don't see what advantages they have over trunks. Maybe they wanted an all over tan? You needn't have bothered because the only person who was gonna see you naked was your equally fat, ugly wife who was taking up two fricking sunloungers - one for her fat ass and one for her copius amounts of sunoil, towels, robes, reading material and snacks!
Ok, so you probably think I'm being a little harsh. What is it to me if people want to wear miniscule lyrca pants around the pool? Surely all I need to do is not look and the eye offense will end? Nope. Because the pool is not the only place they wore them. BREAKFAST. The fuckers wore Speedos to BREAKFAST. I seriously did not need to know the penis size of my fellow diners whilst I was applying Nutella to my crossiant. What was even worse was that they were wearing t-shirts that ended exactly at the penis bulge point so your attention was immeadiately drawn to the crotch and there was just nothing you could do about it!
And it wasn't just the Speedo wearing - they were just generally offensive. They were really loud, dive bombed it into the pool, bagged five loungers each at about seven in the morning, ate everything at the buffet before you got there - it was just everything to excess, apart from the swimming outfit, obviously.
End rant.
13 comments:
"the penis bulge point" - is that a technical description for it?
I know exactly what you mean!! The other day a man came in and went shopping in Speedos in the supermarket where I work !! In Speedos!! In the supermarket!! Do people not have dignity?! I SO did not want to see that!!
Yes, but were their equally fat wives topless? When I think of Europeans on the beach, I think of women wearing only half their swim suits. Is that stereotypical of me? Also, EWWWWWWW!!!!! How did you eat?!
I went to a nudist beach in Skiathos expecting to find some dream scene of beautiful women (no men) all oiling themselves down. Nope. No. Nada. Nay. The beech was full (when I say full I mean people touching each other) of massively fat men and women (most old) with their grey pubic wigs, tiny cocks and kebabs hanging out. There was even this fella coming out of the see with a semi. I vomited in my mouth. I was mentally scarred for a while after that. I had masturbation therapy in order to clear my mind. Wrong. So so so wrong.
There was this one German woman (sorry, it's not that I have a problem with Germans it's just that they were all German), who was topless all the time but she'd had a really bad boob job and when she moved at all her boobs kind of strained and creased up. I was staring at her for many hours...I think she noticed.
That's bad... Why do you eat your breakfast in speedos? Why wear speedos????
I feel you Britpop. I really feel you. It's repulsive!
LOL Brits. Did you not feel the need to projectile vomit when you clapped eyes on such a lovely site??
Nutelle on a croissant?
Sacriledge.
And why is everyone talking about food? I'm hungry now.
Are speedos even comfortable? They're certainly not good looking!!There should be a law or something..Besides Jake,everyone just stay away from speedos!especially in public areas!Maybe they didn't have mirrors..
Sounds like you had quite the experience! Honestly, people have no shame these days. Speedos don't look good on anyone!
Btw BPB, I remember reading you were a His Dark Materials fan, and thought you might be interested to know about the latest casting - Nicole Kidman will be playing Mrs. Coulter, Eva Green will be playing Serafina, and Lord Asriel will be played by Paul "I wish I never kissed Kirsten Dunst" Bettany.
Lord Asriel will be played by Paul "I wish I never kissed Kirsten Dunst" Bettany
Not sure about that. I pictured Lord Asriel as a more Ralph Fiennes-type. I guess the casting of the kids is most important - if they screw that up it's doomed.
Kidman should be good but again not someone I envisaged playing the role.
What about the fat cow women who think they can wear the small bikini suits. You ladies should turn your critical eyes on the one standing in front of your mirror. Speedos are hot and comfortable. Why do women wear the small ugly thong bathing suits? Guys like myself take pride in how we look, and tend to look great in speedos. You sorry asses ladies hate speedos, because the guys in them are usually hot, and wouldn't give you the time of day... straight or gay. I always catch an admiring eye when I "don" my speedo. Don't believe me... ask your husband. hahah Sorry jokes you girls who judge other are. Let people live, and stop bitching!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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