Another Day in Unemployment Paradise
I had a interview today for the post of Conference Executive at the local Stately Home-ruined-by-turning-it-into-a-300-room-hotel. Think Toad Hall meets Holiday Inn. The fact that they call the person who puts chairs and water glasses out for meetings a Conference Executive pretty much says it all. Nothing like a bit of pretension to get my enthusiasm going.
Anyway, I don't think I got the job because during the interview pre-amble the bloke (who must have been only two years older than me) was reading out the company policy or ethos or whatever the fuck he called it and he said, 'We like to dazzle our customers with our sensational service'. Now, in my head I replied, 'Dazzle them with service? What? With like a really shiny tea tray?'. But then I laughed out loud at how funny I thought I was. I might have got away with it but further down the questioning line he asked, 'Do you consider yourself a natural smiler?'. WTF? Again, in my head: 'Yeah, but I smile like a person who doesn't quite understand what's going on around them'. Made myself laugh again.
He probably thought I was weird/rude. But I did smile a lot.
3 comments:
Aw, man, you always remind me of stuff! I did the same thing Thursday morning at the airport when I got past security and I went into this store to see if they had chapstick. The woman didn't even look up from her text-messaging to tell me "no," and in my head I said, "But my lips hurt real bad!" in my best Napoleon Dynamite voice. It was then I noticed the armed guard standing mere inches away from me probably wondering why I was trying to buy illegal contraband and why I was laughing to myself. It's amazing I wasn't arrested. Good luck on the job, though. This one sounds less terrible than some of the other ones!
If you don't get this "Conference executive" post, don't worry: there will be plenty of similar job interviews, good luck!
You should've broken into "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast. Gets those hotel bastards everytime.
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