Wednesday, June 28, 2006

In More Alarming News About The State Of Britain...

...did you know you could apply to be James Bond online? I won't link directly to it because I'm scared but go HERE and then click on 'Careers'. I seriously thought applying to be a spy for one of the most highly secretive and cool ass agencies in the world would be an invite only scenerio.
Apparently not.

In other alarming news, britpopbaby almost applied to MI5 (apparently Matt did too, even more worrying eh?). They were ADVERTISING for intelligence officers at this site. All you need is a degree and the ability to keep your fucking mouth shut - I think you can guess why I didn't pursue my application. I filled in an online form and they sent me all the real forms - I think they were trying to disguise it as letters from a travel agents, oooo, top secret! I was very excited, as you can imagine, when the third question after name and address was, 'Do you own a personal website?' FUCK. I was faced with the following options:

1. Lie. But wait, this is MI5 - they're bound to find out! But wait, this is MI5 - they can't even track terrorist organisations to Leeds.
2. Shut down Gin Harpy AND Jake Watch. Gin Harpy wouldn't have been a huge problem but Jake Watch? No, I just couldn't.
3. Play dumb/clever. When questioned specify that I own 'blogs' not 'websites'.
4. Realistically think about do I want to work for MI5 - a lot of responsibility, the pay wasn't even that great, I'd have to move to London permantly and I'd never be able to tell anyone what my job was even though saying, 'I'm an intelligence officer for MI5' would be the coolest fucking sentence in the world bar, 'I'm an intelligence officer for MI6'.

So, all in all, I'm not going to apply to MI5 but I guess you can - just go to their website.

This post will self destruct in 3 minutes - hey it's MI5 not IMF, they don't have the resources!



P.S The MI5 tagline is just 'The Security Service' - not very catchy. It should be, 'This is MI5 not 9 to 5' like in Spooks.

6 comments:

matt of comooxdom said...

I did indeed get one step further and found myself in an assessment centre in London along with about fifty other alpha's. We had to lie at reception that we were there for something else. I thought it was so cool.

In the assessment centre a women stood up and said "welcome to the assessment centre for the secret service" - woooo, how cool is that. The test however was crazy and surfice to say my application didn't go any futher. But yeh - there are loads of other stories all about this. I will have to do a blog entry. I had to lie to my girlfriend for two months!!!!

Nothing Really Matters said...

Brits i think you should just go for it use option 3. You don't really own it the blogger people do!

Just think you could fins out even more information about Jake.

What made you think of applying in the first place???

Becky Heineke said...

And I thought we had lax national security. ;)

DKBB said...

LOL @ prophecy girl!!

Britpop, I can so see you as a spy - you'd look cool in one of those little Bond-type spy cars. ;)

Miffed67 said...

Oooooo, you get MAJOR kudos from me for mentioning one of my favorite TV shows EVER, Spooks (called MI:5 here.) I can totally see you not pursuing that line of work, altho it has WAY more panache than the simple Police!

Anonymous said...

You'd probably get a spot in a bunker again though.

My Mum wants me to apply to the MOD. So I can call you to tell you when you need to get in the bunker after I've pushed a wrong button.