I'm Just About Ready To Cry
When I left University last Friday I was promised I wouldn't be nagged about finding a job for at least a week because I'd been a good little girl, working hard and so on and so forth. Well that went out the window by about erm, Saturday morning.
I even applied to the police to shut them up and now I've even filled in the damn form and I'm getting all stressed out about fitness tests and how firm my grip is (it has to be 32kg). I don't wanna join the fucking police! Mum asked our neighbour, whose a policeman, to come round and chat to me about it. He kept using phrases like, 'dead bodies', 'mangled bodies', 'chasing', 'arms training' and 'our county can't afford a helicopter so we've got a van'.
Yesterday I was convinced to try out work experience for the BBC. I got all excited about that and went online to see what positions they had available only to quickly discover I'm not even qualified enough to work for free. Fuckers.
Mum has been nagging me to go back to my part time job but I hate it because they make me work 16 hours shifts catering for chav weddings. By the time I've finished I can never feel my feet and I stink of fags and lager and I've been sexually harassed by most people there - once the bride even squeased my bum. Plus I get bossed around and patronisied and I'm never allowed any responsibility - this from the people who can't even remember to pay me most months.
I want to cry. How is your job hunt going, my darling Anneka?
19 comments:
Do you remember the 'Test Your Grip' excercise we partook in once at the Careers Fair? And even I was better than you? Run away and join the circus. You like tigers and elephants and you'd be able to let your facial hair grow to its full potential. Take Amber and you'll have a gimmick. You can get your parents free tickets for their anniversary.
My current job prospects include post-woman, vet receptionist, butcher and trainee plumber. I'm thinking of some sort of hybrid - a job that involves making sausages in a u-bend while answering phones and sorting mail.
At least I'm one step up on my sister. No-one will hire her 'cos her eyes are too close together. She went for a job in the video shop and they told her they're closing down. I think it was a lie so they wouldn't have to employ her and they'll be still open at Christmas.
Britpop you obviously did not tell the BBC your powers of interviewing members of the Gyllenhaal family! Maybe you could be a CSI??? You get to wear your own clothes and everything! You might end up in famous people’s houses, you could interview them, have a little snoop round the mansion.
Anneka don’t become a butcher, they stink, look nasty and don’t seem happy people! I have been witness to butcher’s coming into my shop!
Don’t cry Britpop have a hug from me ;-)
oh brits - as I keep telling you this is life...
I have a list of 20 ideas by the way whereby we get to travel for free and write nonsense. I plan to include all bloggers around the world in it. Yes we get to go to America, yes we will get drunk. Yes I am getting married in the winter, yes I will make advances, Yes we'll still be poor but Yes - we won't have to work!!!!!
p.s. My 'test your grip' exercise is off the chart ;-O
Oh, it'll be OK, brit. I think everyone goes through a withdrawal period after college. I still talk to my friends about it..."grown ups" tout graduation as this great liberating experience that gives you access to the whole world. But in reality, it's a time to mourn the loss of the life you've grown accustomed to and harbor bitter feelings towards your friends who have plans and/or are moving far away from you. It's not a fun period of your life, no matter what people want you to believe.
I don't have any career advice (obviously I'm not the person to ask about finding your way, being a half-assed financial assistant with a degree in Biology and one semester of art school) but don't give into pressure if you can help it. I don't want you to join the police force! You could always check out those programs that give you temporary work visas and then you could come to America for a few months. It's a good way to prolong the decision-making process. Or just take any job to start putting money away. Life sucks, but I know you'll be alright. :)
Thanks for the messages of hope, kids. Like little doves.
I have a list of 20 ideas by the way whereby we get to travel for free and write nonsense
Could you please tell me more?
And anneka, I knew you'd land on your feet - I reccommend your own dodgy vet surgery with a butchers on the side. wink wink.
all in good time dear...
I'm scoping together a plan out as we speak...
Yo, Matt. I'm taking this "all bloggers" thing seriously. I'm in whether you want me or not. :)
Ugh...the agony of the job hunt!!! (See my most recent post for my display of wallowing in jobless self pity!)
Good luck to you, m'dear. And to me... ;)
Anyone for a budgie burger? Cat chop? Sausage dog sausage? All at Anneka's Animalarium-Forward-Slash-Meat-Emporium. Who'd ever suspect a vegetarian (batting eyelashes)?
Can I get fries with that???
Well, no message of hope here... just the voice of experience. ;) When I graduated with my Master's back in the dark ages, I spent 6 months applying for 350 jobs, doing about 150 interviews, and finally working at a Sears store during the holidays to keep from starving. 20+ years out from grad school, I have never worked in the field I studied (Personnel), but have had a kazillion different jobs. The most important job skill you can have is adaptability ...learn to do it all, and you'll be able to stay employed; master multitasking and you'll be ready for parenting AND a paying job. ;)
Best of luck in your search, britpop - may you find your bliss and make it payable!
awwwhhh I'm sorry about the job search.. here's something to cheer you up though - your blog review is up at Stupid People Shouldn't Breed... :)
Britpop, you need to get into the media - pronto! All the more chance to meet Jakey then. ;)
Btw, I officially worship you now. You like Jake AND His Dark Materials. Until now, I was the only person I knew who likes that same combination!
Keep up the good work!
Thanks, emmy. I'm still waiting for them to turn His Dark Materials into a film.
And thanks for my review, supcombtaz! Good recommendations that I'll def implement.
I'll tell ya, I wholeheartedly think you should be writing. Something. ANYthing. I mean, the backs of cereal boxes, even. Now, how you'd go about accomplishing that, I have no clue. Sorry I can't be of more help. I fell in to the job I have (which I love) quite by accident, and didn't have the least bit of direction or a plan in mind beforehand. REALLY bad at planning these things. But - sometimes things just happen by serendipity. You do have to be on the lookout, tho....like they say, opportunity knocks, but it's not going to stand around waiting if you don't answer the door. I'll send ya a hug instead....always there with some moral support handy!
That goes for you too, Anneka!
Britpop, please don't become a policewoman! From what i've been reading these past few weeks, you're nothing like that. You're a living-people watcher, not a dead-people analyzer! You oughta go to Mexico. (joke)(ha)
Get a part-time job, so you can have your own gin money, but meanwhile, send articles to all the newspapers in town you like, or go travel, that's very helpful for open-minding, getting ideas..Be creative, while you still have the guts to. I'm not being a wise ass here, i'm pretty fucked up myself, but i see all these people around me, intelligent, open-minded,free spirits, who got stuck into back office jobs. And their lives just got smaller and smaller. I'll be trying my best to avoid that feeling.
So..please don't do smth you don't like..you'll come to hate it..And take your time.A friend of mine is 26 and is still volunteering for ONGs.
Good luck!and don't panic..you're a smart girl ;)
and now.... a message from Your Future. Dearest Britpop, heed my words, sad though they be: by the time you're in your 30's? you'll be BEGGING people to sexually harass you, you sweet thing.
(but if nothing comes through on the job hunt, maybe web design for a while?)
"What do you mean the your not "qualified" ??? for the BBC . To hell your not! Your creative,clever,witty"
Simon, the BBC aren't interested in any of that crap. Bargain Hunt is still on! lol - and she's not Welsh enough to be working on Doctor Who. Nobody is.
Actually, they are turning them into films. The first comes out next December. I auditioned for the part of Lyra.
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